Monday, January 9, 2012

Round 3.....

  Well, today was the third time I’ve gone in for a Baseline Ultrasound on Day 5 of my cycle. So far, things look normal. As they should, since I’ve been expelling all the old to make room for the new. I looked over my chart before leaving the office today, and the only information that stood out to me was that my lining was at 7mm. The past two cycles, on Day 5, the lining wasn’t near that and was at most 5mm on Day 9.  As you know from my previous posts, the lining has to be at least 8mm for a fertilized egg to attach. 

    I have my prescription for the Clomid, which I will begin tonight, for the next 5 days. They increased the dosage from 50mg to 75mg. I have another ultrasound this coming Friday, on Day 9 to check my progress, and then again on Monday, Day 12. Typically, the ovulation will occur between days 15-18, possibly later, but that’s why they want to start watching early. Based on an ovulation calculator, I will probably ovulate Jan 22-25th (or Days 18-21). I want to be optimistic, and I am, but I’m still fearful that once again the follicles will deflate after Day 12. 

   If this had been my first pregnancy, I’m sure I’d be anxious, but not nearly as “hurt” as I have been the past two failed cycles. See if you can follow along on how my brain works: A follicle produces a healthy egg. A healthy egg is fertilized. A fertilized egg in turn is a baby. For someone who has gotten to the last step, been pregnant, but then not been able to take the baby home with them, or lost them early, the feelings of desperation or loss associated with something as simple as a “deflated follicle” wouldn’t seem like an issue to others. But for someone who associates a follicle with a chance at a healthy pregnancy, it really does feel like a failure. If I was just going about this the old fashioned way, and didn’t have such an in-depth look at it all, maybe my feelings would be different. Maybe not. But I do know that I hope this time works out. 

   It’s been almost 5 years, and I still struggle with certain commercials, movies, statements – I know that one baby can’t replace another, but there is still a hole that needs to be filled. God is working with me daily, and helping, but once a Mama, always a Mama.

Until Next Time……

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Well, today didn’t go quite as I had hoped. We are still moving forward though. Just not as quickly as I had thought things would be. Apparently my body is just as stubborn as my heart and mind.

    Today’s appointment revealed that even though I’ve been on Clomid for the growth and development of my eggs and follicles, they aren’t as “big” as Ginger would’ve hoped. She said that doesn’t mean that they’re not working, it just means they’re not ready yet.  Currently, there is a prominent follicle on the left ovary, but it is still only 12mm in size. It needs to get up to 18mm to be viable. Again, it should grow anywhere from 1-2mm a day. So Ginger is hoping that it is as big as 16mm on Thursday. I go back in on Thursday for the same ultrasound/measurements to see how far I’ve progressed in 2 days. She believes that I won’t be ovulating in the next few days, possibly even the next week (based on the length of my last cycle, my body could wait until Day 18 to ovulate instead of the normal Day 13-15).
     She has also started me on a drug called Vagifem. Now, while it’s not necessarily used for fertility treatments, the main hormone in the pills are what my body uses to thicken the lining of my uterus. Currently, my lining is only 5mm thick, and it needs to be at least 8mm for a fertilized egg to be able to attach.
     If she does in fact do the insemination this week/round, she wants me to come back in a week later for blood work to test my Progesterone level again. If implantation occurs, there should be a spike in progesterone as that is the hormone that helps facilitate a successful pregnancy. If we get a positive pregnancy test but my progesterone levels don’t change, I could “miscarry” or flush the egg off 2-3 weeks after fertilization/implantation. We don’t want that, of course.
     I’ve administered my first dose of the Vagifem, and it’s making me quite nauseous and cramping a little right now – this is no bueno lol.  I am trying to stay positive, but today was a little discouraging. Just going to have to buckle down and keep plowing through I guess. I won’t let it ruin my Christmas if we don’t get to try this week and have to wait until January. But I’ll admit it…. I’m sad.  :-(

Until next time……

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Could it be? Do we have a date?

Well kids – looks like we are doing an insemination on the 2nd week of December! My doctor called today to discuss my lab panel that was drawn on Monday. My levels of progesterone were VERY low, indicating that I did not ovulate this month. Ginger believes this is just residual from the birth control, and there are no real issues.
     Next week, on day two or three of my cycle, I am going in for one more panel of blood work and to start receiving doses of Clomid. Clomid (Clomiphene Citrate Oral tablet) is to ensure that my follicles and eggs get nice and fat and ready to accept the donor! I will probably take those doses from Day 5-10 of my cycle. Then, on day 13-15 we will pick a day that they chemically release the mature egg to meet up with the spermies LOL – This should fall on or around December 6th/7th if my Day One actually happens mid next week.
     I am kind of hoping that Day One doesn’t show up until Thursday (Thanksgiving), so I can ensure my doctor and medical office is open after the holiday J Anywho, that’s the update!! Eeek! 

Until next time.....

Thursday, November 10, 2011

We have a plan!!

Ok! An official update! This will encompass everything that has happened this last week   :)

I had an appointment last Friday, where they were monitoring my right ovary, as it had the growing follicle. On Friday it was at 12mm, which looked promising. Monday I went in for another ultrasound, and they discovered that sometime over the weekend (probably late Sunday night, early Monday morning) the follicle and egg had disappeared. There was a little bit of fluid in the ovary, leading them to believe that maybe the follicle released the egg early, and it wouldn’t have been viable to transplant anyway.
   I had a consult today with Ginger, Dr. Benezra’s partner, and we came up with a game plan for the next 3 weeks. She is under the opinion that the results of this last month’s observations were because of the many years I’ve been on birth control. It can take up to 3 months of course for your body to get back in to its own cycle.
    She seems to believe that this next cycle, being the 3rd one without birth control, will be a promising cycle. Next Monday I go in for a blood test, to check my levels of progesterone. If they are within a certain range, it will indicate if I did in fact ovulate and process the egg, or if the levels were too low. Based on some questions she asked about tenderness, etc, she seems to believe my levels will be just fine. 
   On Day 1 or 2 of my next cycle, which should be around Nov 23rd or 24th, she wants me to come in for another blood test, and they’re going to do a fertility panel. Again to check levels of progesterone, and my LH (lutropin) levels, I believe. She wants me to come in for an ultrasound on Day 10 (which might be a Saturday), and from that day for the next 4-5 days she wants me to use the home ovulation sticks to measure my LH levels.
   On the day I see the spike in that specific hormone, I am supposed to call the office so that the very next day they can “shoot me up.” – So it looks like we will be trying on Dec 7th or so in that area. Then, after we do one try, I take a pregnancy test 2 weeks after. J I like her (Ginger) a lot – she is very positive, but clear and concise when explaining things, which is very helpful. She has asked me, that if it’s possible to start walking 2 times a week as a stress reliever, so that I’m not so anxious or wound up. Not a brisk walk or exercise really, but just as a release. My blood pressure was a bit elevated today because of it all. I told her I definitely would haha. So, that’s the latest – everything seems to be going pretty well. 

I am excited!
Until next time.....

Friday, October 28, 2011

The first of many....

Doctor's appointment today went very well!! Today is considered Day 5 of my body's cycle, and so far everything looks good.  I go in for another ultrasound on November 4th, and then again on November 7th.  The consensus from my Doctor, is that we will more than likely watch my body this month, and make sure everything is rock solid before actually doing any insemination. He wants to make sure that my ovaries, the follicles, the eggs, and everything else develop the way they are supposed to, on a schedule.
     This make sense, not only from a health standpoint, but also a financial standpoint. We would all hate to be over zealous and have a donor sample shipped in, only to find out that my ovary needs some assistance, didn't drop an egg at all, or if I need some hCg shots to beef things up, and miss our window of opportunity and the donor sample expire.
    It is still possible that during one of the appointments on the 4th or 7th, that he will say everything looks ripe and to go ahead and have a donor sample shipped in. Since that is still a possibility, I of course need to double check on just how quickly I can get it delivered.
   So, trying for the 12th of November is still an option, though only if the doctor feels I am right on target. If we miss that part of my cycle, due to needing "help" for my body to do its job, then we will try for December 12th.  Either way, I am totally comfortable and happy with what we've decided. While I am excited and would love for us to try on the 12th of November, I also want it to be done right., ya know? LOL - So now we wait and watch!
Until next time......

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The scariest part is over....

And by that, I mean the money haha. I went to the bank on Friday after work, and was able to secure the funding I need for all parts of the procedure. I literally broke down in tears after I got to my car in the parking lot. I was so worried they were going to tell me no. Color me ecstatic!

   I called the Drs office and scheduled the preliminary ultrasound for Friday. The Doc is going to take a look at my baby-maker and make sure it looks good to go and doesn't need any help incubating. :)   If he believes everything checks out, I'll go ahead and purchase the ovulation monitor, so I know when is the best time and schedule the first "injection". So far, things are going along so smoothly!

  My body calendar is off by 2 days than I thought, so I believe my window for the first try will be between the 11th-15th of November. Hopefully, the ovulation monitor and the Doc agree with me. :)  Until then, I am trying to stay caught up on my rest, and my health.

Until next time.....

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Ladies & Germs, we have a winner......

Well, I have made my decision on a donor. Donor #12481 had a wonderful profile, essay, and the staff's impression of him was was very good.

   He is 6' 2", 174 pounds, wavy brown hair, green eyes, medium complexion, and is from Danish/Dutch/Finnish/German decent. The staff likened him to celebrities Ben Stiller (Meet the Fockers) and James Roday (Psych). After seeing his childhood photos (one of which at age 13) I can agree with their comparison. 

   He has played classical guitar for 12years, and also enjoys playing jazz. When not playing music, he likes to play racquetball and volleyball, and ride motorcycles. He holds both a Bachelors and Masters degree in Business with an average GPA of 3.8, and has recently graduated and opened his own accounting firm.

   I am very happy and at peace with my choice. I remember reading his profile overview on Monday and feeling a leap in my heart. I know this is the right choice and I can't wait!

So now comes a few intermittent appointments with the doctor before actually "trying". I have to purchase the sample for Try #1, so that is my main priority until my follow up with Dr. Benezra around this time next week.

Keep your fingers crossed folks - this is looking very good.

Until next time.....